Mary Steenburgen on 30-Year Marriage With Ted Danson and Finding Love Again Onscreen

The couple prioritizes kindness and time together.

Mary Steenburgen arrives at CBS Television Studios Summer Soiree at The London Hotel on Monday,May 19, 2014 in Los Angeles. Photo by Katy Winn//Invision/AP

Mary Steenburgen says longevity in marriage has less to do with rules and more to do with mutual care.

The Oscar-winning actress, 72, reflected on her three-decade marriage to actor Ted Danson during a recent public appearance in New York, explaining that the couple prioritizes kindness and time together rather than rigid relationship guidelines.

“I don’t know that we have formal rules,” Steenburgen told People, adding that both she and Danson try to avoid long separations due to work. “Especially as we get older, we really don’t want to be separated,” she said, noting that even short stretches apart can feel difficult.

Steenburgen said the absence is felt not only emotionally but practically. Recalling a recent film shoot in Vancouver, she said Danson struggled during the time she was away, especially because she had taken their dog with her.

She added that their marriage works because they approach it with generosity rather than obligation. “I want him to have the happiest life possible, and he feels the same way about me.”

The couple, married since 1995, recently brought that real-life bond to the screen in the second season of Netflix’s comedy series “A Man on the Inside,” which premiered Nov. 20. Steenburgen joined the cast as Mona Margadoff, a free-spirited musician-turned-college professor who becomes a romantic interest for Danson’s character, Charles Nieuwendyk, a retired man who reinvents himself as a private investigator.

In an interview with Netflix, Danson said the new season shifts the character’s focus from mystery to emotional vulnerability. While the first season centered on reinvention after loss, Season 2 explores whether love is possible later in life. “How is this going to impact my daughter and my friends? Is it okay to fall in love again?” Danson said, describing the questions that shaped his performance.

Series creator Mike Schur has said the storyline was built specifically around Steenburgen, describing the real-life couple as deeply aligned in values and affection.

“They are so in love with each other, they respect and admire each other so much,” Schur said. “Frankly, it’s very annoying. They set an impossible standard. I did not enjoy working with them for that reason, and I don’t intend to do it again.”

Steenburgen and Danson are longtime fixtures in American film and television. Danson rose to prominence through “Cheers” and later starred in “Curb Your Enthusiasm,” “The Good Place,” and “Mr. Mayor.” Steenburgen won an Academy Award for her performance in 1980’s “Melvin and Howard” and has appeared in films such as 1993’s “Philadelphia,” 2008’s “Step Brothers,” and 2018’s “Book Club.”